I woke up feeling excitement but not sure where it was coming from, then I remembered. “I’m going to sort cattle today.” My stomach got that little tickle in it as I got out of bed, the anticipation and the nerves were there, but also the excitement to be around cattle and meeting other people in the horse world.

It didn’t take long to get Sassy loaded in the trailer and off we went. We had 3 horses headed over to the arena for some fun. Shannon and I were going to be a team and Kate was teaming up with the gal who sold her Waylon, a nice 5 year old quarter Horse.

Shannon’s mare, Bella, and Sassy are from the same herd so they knew each other well. Bella had worked with cattle before, but my Sassy girl had never seen a cow. I was excited and nervous to see what she thought. I’ve seen horses terrified of cows and unable to be around them and I was hoping that Sassy would trust me enough to do this.

Shannon and I quickly saddled up and went into the arena where we tied up our girls and signed up for the competition. At that moment my stomach clenched and I was full of nerves, negative thoughts ran through my mind and I had tingles up and down my spine. I had to stop and breathe, look around, close my eyes and let my other senses take over. The smell of the horses, the gentle nickers as they greeted each other, or the loud squeals of two strangers meeting for the first time. I leaned my forehead against Sassy’s neck and I listened to her slow breathing and felt her heartbeat under my hand. I took another deep breath and reached for her bridle, I dropped her halter and gently placed the bridle on her face as she accepted the bit from my hand.

We walked to the mounting block, checked our cinches and then we were up! Shannon and I steered our horses into the arena and joined the melee. At first glance it looked and sounded like chaos. Horses moving in all directions, at different speeds in one area, while in another the horses and riders were standing in small groups visiting with each other. There was a large pen in the arena that some were standing around and the cattle were being let into. Shannon and I moved into the circle of riders moving together at the walk and trot and gently eased them forward. Bella was a bit fired up with all the other horses and started prancing a bit and jigging close to Sassy, while Sassy seemed relaxed until… we turned on the backside of the circle and she saw the cattle, “Wow, what’s that?” she seemed to say as she froze in place. “Bella, What is that, no wait.. what are those?” Bella just kept moving forward prancing with excitement and I reached down and patted Sassy’s neck to reassure her. “It’s okay Sassy, trust me.” We kept in our trotting circle, and she exhibited some really nice side passes and half passes as we moved forward, we may have even done some pirouettes as she kept her eyes on those strange creatures that we call cows. As Sassy was working on showing me all her lateral moves, and spins and such, I stayed with her and kept saying “Trust me, Sassy girl, I’ve got you, we’re fine, I won’t leave you.”

She eventually settled down and I had discovered inside of all the care and positive thoughts I was sending Sassy that I had lost my sense of nervousness. I even felt sure, calm, and relaxed. I was able to breathe it all in, and tears silently coursed down my cheeks. I turned to Shannon and said “I’m crying, this feels like home”. Memories of being on the farm in Oklahoma and going out to count cattle, or move them from one pasture to another, were filling my mind and soul with joy. I felt like that little girl again on the back of a really nice horse, with the Oklahoma sun shining down on her and hearing the gentle sounds of the cattle. It was home, it was sweet and it was good.

But then, we had to move closer to the cattle, we needed Sassy to move them and feel confident to do it. Shannon and I sidled up to the gate and we were noticed by a man on a big palomino. He asked us if we had ever done this before, we replied that Sassy had never seen a cow. He told us to follow him in with the cattle and he would teach us. Bella and Shannon took the lead, with Sassy and I bringing up the rear. Bella took to it like a duck to water, that little mare sure has some confidence! Sassy was scared but I kept whispering to her, “trust me, I’ve got you” and then pushed her up close to Bella like the guy told me to. Bella stepped out of the way and right before Sassy’s nose was the rear end of a cow! She stopped; feeling a bit surprised, but I nudged her again and as she stepped forward which caused the cow to move away. Before you knew it, she was chasing the cow!

I felt her body change and the trust she had in me came up into my hands. She gave me herself and we chased that cow into the next pen! It was awesome and Sassy felt lighter, and almost on her toes. Oh, but when we turned around she was facing the herd of cattle again, and before I knew it I was facing the other way! Wow, Sassy can spin! I asked her to turn back, supporting her with my knees and hands and mumbling under my breath, “I love you, trust me, I won’t let you down”. Bella crossed in front of us again and we followed, we repeated the process and Sassy chased another cow. The love I have for my horse swelled up into my heart and laughter bubbled up inside me. I felt pure delight in her and awe that she trusted me like that. Her trust in me gave me the confidence to keep trying until we were chasing the cow together. Her trust in me, gave us wings!

We had to leave the pen so other people could show their horses the cattle and give it a try. We went back to the fence and watched the other horses practice, there were a few times a cow would approach where we were standing and Sassy would freeze a bit, but other times she stayed solid and watched them with her ears pricked forward.

Shannon, Bella, and Sassy and I ended up enjoying our time there. We were able to make it through three runs before we had to leave and go home. Sassy ended up trusting me and following my lead through what she considered a valley full of scary creatures. She was able to keep herself with me, to listen to my voice and follow my love for her and we got through to the other side because she trusted me. It reminded me of what God does for us. He sees the big picture, he knows the plans he has for us. But we tremble in fear of the unknown and sometimes can’t hear His voice. We get distracted with the other voices in our heads and the voices of society and we stumble and feel alone because that is all we hear. We also have free will which can really make us fall. But God always is there, he is waiting for us to listen for his voice, his direction and council. Sometimes when we have the scary things enter into our lives, the unthinkable happens, but if we can find Gods voice in our valley, we can make it though to the other side. I’m slowing starting to understand that. Psalm 23 now makes sense to me in a way I never thought it could. God is there, He never intended bad things to happen to us, and when they do he doesn’t leave us or forsake us, he is waiting for us to follow him to the green pastures and to help us lay down and rest by the still waters.

Sassy and I had so much fun that day. I do believe Sassy enjoyed herself. The last couple runs with the cattle she was pinning her ears back at them and pushing them along. I think if you asked her she would say yes to doing it again. I am grateful that my horse trusts me and knows I will always try to do the best I can for her, and even when bad things happen, I will step up and work the bad for her good in some way. I love her and she trusts that love.