He feels cold. His energy is so low that he shakes from the effort to stand. He is locked deep inside of himself. There is no real pain, just dullness and lack of coordination. He can’t seem to figure out how to get into the trailer. He doesn’t feel afraid, he is tired, and his body isn’t working right. Finally, he is in the trailer. He’s not sure how he got there, but he is relieved that they helped him in. The trailer ride is soothing, the swaying feels comforting. Arrival to the hospital is a relief and he finds his voice to nicker a greeting. His beloved, Her, comes to him and he talks to her. She smiles through her fears and reassures him. Her love washes over him from her heart in waves and he knows she is with him, even in his dullness. There is much activity, he hears it and feels it, but from a distance. The only thing he really feels is Her, she is there with her hand on his head, sometimes his side and when he can’t feel her hand, he feels her spirit and it’s good to rest in that. There is a weird buzzing sensation as the doctors shave a spot for a catheter in his neck, a bite that is uncomfortable for a moment, but then it’s ok. She’s back at his head. It’s soothing to him to feel her there. The bite must have been something good because he relaxes a little and doesn’t feel so thirsty. His body doesn’t tremble as much, and he can let his spirit come closer to the surface again. His eyes brighten and he notices where he is. There are so many people! He looks around and notices some from his home, She is there, and then the ones that smell like the other horses from home. They are the ones touching him like She does. Someone starts up the buzzing thing and he feels it on his side. He hears someone say “belly tap, and Lipoma, and intestines,” but he doesn’t know what it all means. It just feels better right now and he is glad he could come to the surface and be with Her. Her love washes over him, but now there is much sadness, and uncertainty. She holds his head and whispers, “surgery, should we try?” He hears hope in her voice, and it enters him. He lift his head up and looks at her. “Try? Hope? Yes.” He leans to her and agrees. More people come, he feels a warmth come inside of him, then his body relaxes. It feels so good, like he is floating. His spirit goes deep again, but from a distance he feels Her heart, and it is so good. He loves her heart, it matches his and they beat in rhythm with each other. He senses her leaving, but it’s ok. Her heart is still with him. He can feel it even though her body walks away. He goes further away and begins to sleep.

A tribute to Joanie and Kona. Kona was a good horse and he was loved.

3 thoughts on “Sleep

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