I’ve been home from my mission trip to Guatemala for two weeks. Its been a hard transition back to the US. Honestly, I have felt lost, like a little boat in a big empty ocean. As I was journaling today I realized the reason its been hard. I was in a cocoon there in Guatemala. I was nestled within a team of people that had one goal, and that was to serve God, and through Him serve other people and each other.

We turned to God several times a day in prayer, we lifted each other up when lifting was necessary. No harsh words were spoken, no judgement of each other. We tried new things, we re-grouped and turned to God when our plans were thwarted.

We lived with each other in one big house, we ate together, sat around the table and talked, did a lot of laughing, and yes, some crying as we shared our stories to each other. Physically we worked hard, we served the villages we went to by providing health care, optometry care, and dentistry care. We all watched each other work and admired the talent each person possessed for the duty they were called for.

I miss being in Guatemala, I miss the lovely people we met out in the villages, I miss the fresh and amazing food, the beautiful mountains and scenery, but most of all I miss the mission team I was on, and being in the cocoon of love and acceptance they all built.

Today I am realizing that its time to emerge from my cocoon, be the new person God wants me to be and lean on him to find my purpose again and who he wants me to serve. I can only do that through Him. Its time for me to quit looking to others for strength and find my own. I pray God gives me eyes to see, ears to hear, a mouth that is quiet, and a heart to serve.

I want to go back, no wait! I will go back for another trip, but for now I will work on getting stronger, more compassionate, and try to not crawl back into a cocoon. Its time to fly and see the people in my life who need me and not be afraid to lean on them when I need to.

Life can be messy, but underneath life is good! Jesus did not come into this world to judge us, he came so that we could live a life filled with his joy and then after death get to live forever. And when I get to heaven I will find my new “Hermana en Christo” and we will talk and talk without having to rely on an interpreter. Oh, how fun that will be!